It’s not my fault!
The fact that I am a woman does not justify your action!
“Don’t be ashamed of your story — it will inspire others.”
I’m not one to expose my life in this way, I don’t like people to know a lot about me as I like to keep as much of my life private as I can, only for people I really care about. Few know but I’m closed, although I like to make friends, I open myself to few and few know about things I’ve been through in life, because not even the closest imagine that I might have had certain moments like the ones I’m going to talk about in this text.
Years ago when I chose to move to Argentina, I chose this country with the intention of being a doctor, of saving people. My friends always say that I see the good side of everyone, even if they show me otherwise at some point. That’s why I decided to move to another country and try to help others. My mother always tells me, daughter doesn’t talk, doesn’t comment, nobody needs to know. But after seeing so much “shit”, sorry for the word but so many people being shit, I decided to tell you a little about two difficult moments in my life.
This happened a few years ago, in Argentina: Coming back from another day of school, tired, more than that, exhausted, I had the misfortune of going through an attempted rape, yes, you read that right… At the time, people said it was my fault fitted clothes, would my clothes be the real reason for such an atrocity? I’m not going to give details of how this horrible moment was, because it still makes me very sick, because of that until recently I was undergoing treatment and still have to overcome it.
What I come to talk about is more the feeling, what I felt with it. How can I say: I felt like the dirtiest being on earth, I felt disgusted with my body, I asked God why he made me a woman and not a man.
So that it wasn’t enough for me to go through one, I went through two, the second one was worse, it was two men. Again I had to be strong and move forward with a face and a smile on my face. Yet inside I was torn, angry, disgusted again with being a woman. I won’t go on too long but I want to say that the first time I already suffered from anorexia and this situation made my condition worse, the second time I got angry because I was caught on the street for defending a cause that I will always continue to defend ( which is also not the subject of the text).
Anger gave me the strength to seek help, from that I became stronger to fight for women. I don’t want to be another woman who judges another woman without knowing what she went through, I don’t want to be another woman who pretends not to see what happens to be well regarded by society. I want to be for women, for me woman. I want to know that I have my place without humiliating, without thinking I’m better than the other, without justifying what someone does with the use of the phrase: IT WAS THE CLOTHES’ FAULT….
Today the amount of abused women in the world is alarming, we are not safe anywhere, that is, we are walking down the street and we can be approached, we are in a delivery room and we are doped, we are at work and we suffer from bad jokes even being abused by colleagues, among other examples.
When new news comes out about some kind of rape, the first thing they do is judge the victim, asking where she works, what clothes she was wearing. And they still end the sentence with one: SÓ COULD. I do not accept that a woman goes out wearing the clothes she wants and is abused and later accused of being guilty of what happened, that is, let’s let the anesthetist get to the point where the anesthetist abused a woman in the delivery room, and then look at rape as a problem . It’s terrible to know that we have to go to the extreme for people to see how much we need to help us women to stop this.
“Don’t tell your daughter, how to dress… teach your son not to look at women like aliens”
We have to start doing something, when we say NO, that this is not respected, when we see something like what happened in the delivery room, let’s do like the nurses who looked for evidence against a scoundrel that I want him to die in jail, yes die . I’m here today because people saved me and for this reason I’m no longer one who could have ended up even in the IML.
I want everyone to be able to be who they want, go out the way they want, do what they want, love who they want and not be afraid to have a relationship with someone else! I want people to be able to see sex as something normal, something pleasurable and not something to be afraid of.
I conclude by saying that I don’t want to be afraid to go out on the street, I want to be able to continue believing in the good in people.
I don’t want to be afraid of being alive! I don’t want to be afraid to be a woman.
“You’re not a victim for sharing your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth. And you never know who needs your light, your warmth, and raging courage.” — Alex Elle
Help is available
Speak with someone today. National Sexual Assault Hotline
Hours: Available 24 hours
1–800–656–4673
